Interviewing tips for first dates

Debriefing with my sister after a job interview on Friday I suddenly realised how much interviews are like first dates. The indecision over what to wear, the sweaty palms, the fear that you’ll freeze up and won’t have anything to say... Since then I’ve discussed the idea with several people who, after laughing hysterically, have had to agree that I may have stumbled on to something.

Putting my theory to the test I googled “job interviews + advice” and, if the totally random selection of websites I dipped into are anything to go by, it seems to me that any would-be dater would be well advised to do the same. Online advice for acing a job interview comes under six rough sub-heads: prepare, be on time, dress for success, stay calm, know what you should know and follow up. Here’s why they also apply to first dates:

Prepare: Do your homework on the venue and have a plan B ready if it turns out to be closed or unsuitable (one friend turned up to a date to discover the pub they were meeting in had been transformed into a leather bar since she’d last been there). Digging up too much info on a date in advance is a little stalkerish but it doesn’t hurt to have some questions ready if the conversation flags.

Be on time: Leave enough time to get to the date. It’s better to walk around the block a couple of times than leave your date anxiously wondering whether they’ve been stood up. If the date is for drinks and you’re early, try to resist the temptation to sink too much liquid courage while you're waiting.

Dress for success: Even if you’re a thongs and T-shirt type, it pays to dress up a little more than you usually would for a first date. Smart casual is appropriate for most venues, with the emphasis on smart. Ripped clothing, slogan T-shirts (my monkey wants to hide in your bush, party till you puke etc…) and dirty running shoes are not. Girls: don’t overdo the cleavage. Guys: consider a shave.

Stay calm: Try to relax and act confident – fake it until you “make it” if you have to. Maintain eye contact with your date and pay attention to the conversation. Listen to the whole question before you start to answer and try not to ramble. If you see your date’s eyes start to glaze over, consider that your cue to change the subject.

Make a good impression: Smile and be friendly. Keep the conversation positive and avoid discussing the negatives about yourself. If you’re got baggage (and who doesn’t really?) don’t unpack it on a first date – there’ll be plenty of time to delve into past relationships if you hit it off. Just like in an interview situation, you don’t have to go through your entire resume.

Know what you should know: Know your date’s name (seems super-obvious but I’ve heard several RSVP-related stories where guys have thought they were meeting a different woman to the one who turned up) and use it to address them. If you’ve been told details such as where your date works or the names of his or her kids, remembering and working them into the conversation will win you brownie points.

Follow up: Don’t leave people dangling. Call, send an email or text your date in the next couple of days to say it was nice to meet them. Even if you have no intention of seeing the person again the decent thing to do is let them know, rather than just disappear into the ether (guys, I’m talking to you in particular here).