Is it wrong to expect service at the supermarket?

I admit I can be a bit of a grump before I’ve had my breakfast and morning coffee (I blame low-blood sugar levels and a minor caffeine addiction) but the last thing I wanted to be confronted with at 8.07am this morning was a perky sales assistant in a red T-shirt offering to show me how Coles’ new self-scanning system worked.

I hadn’t noticed when I’d wandered bleary-eyed into the store a few minutes earlier but it seems that at some time in the last few days aisles one to four in my local Coles supermarket have been replaced with self-service "pods" (for want of a better word).

“Errr, thanks, but I’m not really interested,” I said, clutching the bread, milk and olive oil spread I’d dropped in to buy in the interests of making the aforementioned brekkie.

“Why’s that ma’am?” she asked, beaming at me as she ushered me towards one of the pods.

Hmmm, if there’s one thing I dislike more than being accosted by a stranger first thing in the morning, it’s being called ma’am… Especially when I’m looking like a scruff in yoga pants and a hoodie, no make up and a ponytail. Save it for your grandma, sister.

Ok, I get that Little Miss Sunshine was just doing her job (she’s probably even been briefed to call recalcitrants such as myself ma’am) but no, actually I don’t want to learn how to scan and bag my own groceries. I gave up my promising career in retailing when I was 21, graduated from university and found a full-time job in journalism. Bye-bye shoe shop.

Nor, for that matter, do I want to cook my own steak at the local pub bistro. I know that there are people who say that it’s the only way to ensure your meat is cooked just the way you like it but you know what, I trust the person with four years of training plus how ever much on-the-job experience to know what medium rare looks like better than I trust myself.

Besides which, if I’d wanted to cook my own dinner I could have skipped getting dressed up and stayed home in front of the heater. Chances are my side dishes would have been more interesting than those on the salad buffet and I can guarantee it would have been cheaper to make than the $20+ you’re generally charged for a cook-your-own steak.

Call me old-fashioned but what’s wrong with expecting a certain amount of “service” with the “goods” you purchase, be they groceries or a meal?

I imagine that despite a presumably substantial initial outlay on technology, setting up a system where customers scan and bag their own groceries is quite cost effective for a supermarket chain such as Coles. If there are four self-service pods in operation, that’s four less actual people they need to roster on for any given shift. There’s probably also a line of spin that says the new system is faster, will help reduce time spent queuing and will allow management to pass the savings on to their customers.

Forgive me if I wait to see how this new technology pans out - and if we see those savings reflected in grocery prices - before I pass final judgment on this initiative. In the meantime I’ll be over at aisle seven...