One stereotype about single 30-something women is that we're all sitting at home consoling ourselves for our miserable, lonely, childless lives by caring for a cat or five (insert off-colour Mrs Slocombe-style joke here)... That may be true for someone, somewhere but not for anyone I know. On the contrary, if a conversation I had the other day is anything to go by, it seems that there are many single women (and men) forgoing a full-time relationship because they care for cats.
Case in point: K, an attractive IT executive with a great career, large house and a huge personality, who shares her home with the 13 stray cats she's rescued from various "death rows" around Sydney. "Partners don't tend to stick around long unless they really like cats," she says. "If they have allergies, then there's no chance."
Her friend J, a TAFE teacher who cares for seven former strays, has a similar story. "I don't mind the odd date," she says. "But I can't commit to a relationship unless that person realises that the welfare of the animals comes first. Some guys get a little strange about the fact that I won't go away on holidays with them if it means leaving my girls in a tiny cage at a shelter."
With the number of pets abandoned apparently spiking at key holiday periods such as Christmas it's obvious not everyone feels the same way - J's feline friends would be amongst the lucky ones if she did put them in a cattery.
Apparently the demographic for animal rescuers encompasses two main groups. People like J and K who integrate caring for otherwise unwanted pets into their everyday lives and die-hard animal liberationists who take in dozens of animals and spend every waking moment cleaning, feeding and attempting to rehouse their feline charges with new families.
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For people actively involved with rescuing animals, being in a relationship can be a bit of a double-edged sword. "The only people who truly understand the workload and effort required are other volunteer workers, which is like pouring petrol on a lit flame," says D. "Your life can become totally consumed by the need to raise awareness of the issues and rescue animals in need. Weekend and holiday plans are non-existent because you never know when you'll need to drop everything to take in a group of kittens in need of hand rearing." Couple-time is usually one of the first things to go out the window because at the end of the day, the animals' needs come first.
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Cynics might even argue that when push comes to shove, having a furry friend at home is better than a two-legged partner. "My cats never lets me down, unlike the guy who 'forgets' to come home for dinner because he got caught up at the pub watching his team play footy," jokes J.
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One thing is for certain, if you do want to date a cat lover, it pays to have a clothes brush on hand...
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2 comments:
Well Hey there!
Interesting - I too am an IT exec, initial K..... though I am in the process of setting up my business and lifestyle to serve in the animal care industry.....
I however, I am on of the lucky ones with an understanding husband... it was a case of love me love my cat (singular cat) when first we met and he grew to love my cat very dearly.
Since that start 20 plus years ago, I have mounted a campaign of TNR in my local area - and after desexing over 60 cats in one year, and rehoming them locally, & others released locally, those also have total care and maintenance (including food, water, shelter, parasite treatment and full healthcare vet care - released ONLY because they are afraid of being indoors or were just not yet tame enough - otherwise they would ALL be happy INDOORS by now!)
With our TNR program we have had no kittens for nearly 3 years now! Woooohoooooo! (I worked with all of the neighbours to get them to understand and for the most part comply with the desexed pet ethic! - quite a job!)
Anyway - I suppose the story is, if the potential partner doesn't show much potential affection for the pets, then that might put some owners off - but my hubby grew to love my cat over a period of a few months ....
Importantly, we did have time away as we got cat sitters in to help (either family or young friends who loved the chance of having a house to themselves and the added benifit of a loving little cat or two - or 4 or more!)
I guess what I am saying is that we have to make time for ourselves and our partners - and a little bit of work to find the right cat sitters (either personal friends and family - or a professional trusted kitty sitter service (like we have) means that that the relationship prospers!
In my situation, the funny thing is, that although I did/do all the main work rescuing, capturing, runs to the vet for desexings and health checks, socialising, rehoming and feeding - the indoor rescues (4) ADORE him the most and make a huge loving fuss of him (isn't it always the way?) - I tend to get the leftovers who can't fit right on top of him!
He is now every bit as concerned for their welfare as I am - and this extends to the 5 outdoor 'squirrel' cats that live in our front yard! Plus any cat we may encounter who may need our help!
As to the outdoor kitties, it was a lot more effort and more time consuming when I had to go and find them to feed them - but now, it is easy as calling to them around dusk and giving them a pat and their dinner!
They all sleep in the various kitty cubbies we have set up to make their lives comfortable and safe!
So, I suppose they are more compliant now too!
Yes, we who love animals can make them a high priority, but with a little forward planning, getting a relationship with a sitter that you can rely on, having a key lodged with them to make the logistics easier - then every ones needs ar managed adn catered to... and ALL our relationships can become enriched and all the better for it!
Cheers!
This is the first time I've seen a comment longer than the blog story itself!!
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